Saturday Night Chuckle!


Corporate Cows

1. SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

2. COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

3. FASCISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

4. NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

5. BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other
and throws the milk away…

6. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies,
and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

7. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow
dropped dead.

8. A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

9. A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a
clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

10. A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk themselves.

11. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for
lunch.

12. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.

13. A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
storing them.

14. A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the numbers.

15. AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

16. A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

17. A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You eat both

12 Responses

  1. 7 and 8 are my favorites.

  2. Henh…I’m a big fan of number six.

    Hey…you watching LeMans?

  3. Good to see you Robert D.
    I messed around, and pulled a muscle in my abdomen today, and I can only sit in the ‘puter chair for a few minutes.

  4. You forgot “New York Cow”: You have 15 million cows to choose from, but you can’t decide, so you pick the fat cow from Arkansas as your leader.

    I was nicknamed “Swedish Cow” by one of my best friends. Drinks Absolut, drives a Volvo, doesn’t get cold, skis. Or something like that.

  5. No, watching NASCAR.
    What the hell did you do?

  6. O.K. #6 is the best choice.

  7. So bromo, is it you that drives the Volvo and drinks Absolut?

  8. Ahhh…something wrong, and I knew I was wrong before I did it, but did it anyway.
    I need to go rub down with Ben-Gay. I got to get up and be at my daughters for a Dad’s Day brunch.

  9. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, Bud…..I know you will enjoy it.

  10. Oh, well, after reading that again bromo, I see. Volvos and Absolut. Dang, how do you put up with us here? :???:

  11. Happy Father’s Day, gentlemen! :)

    Yes, Robert D., it’s me that does the above. (If it makes you feel better, like I’m not too classy for the place, I change my own oil and brakes. Really hard to get too snobby when you’re covered in grease.) :)

  12. thanks theo,

    here’s another take on capitalism. Bear with me if you’ve read it before:

    A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00.
    The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
    The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.”
    Kenny replied “Well then, just give me my money back.”
    The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
    Kenny said, “OK then, just unload the donkey.”
    The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”
    Kenny: “I’m going to raffle him off.”
    Farmer: “You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”
    Kenny: “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he is dead.”
    A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, “What happened with that dead donkey?”
    Kenny: “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.”
    Farmer: “Didn’t anyone complain?”
    Kenny: “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”

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