(CNN) — It could be the latest so-called Chuck Norris fact: “The American people don’t choose presidents, Chuck Norris does,” and Chuck is backing Republican Mike Huckabee for president. Here are the Top 20 facts you should know about Mike Huckabee.
#19. Stephen Hawking told Mike Huckabee the universe was 12 billion years old once. Once.
#18. Mike Huckabee lost 100 pounds of body fat by eating it.
#17. Top scientists believe global warming is a direct consequence of Mike Huckabee getting angry.
#16. Mike Huckabee won’t repeal the Estate Tax out of sympathy for the families of his victims.
#15. Mike Huckabee has completed six marathons, two of which aren’t until next year.
#14. Fred Thomspon, John McCain and Rudy Giuliani all got cancer because Mike Huckabee looked at them too hard.
#13. If Mike Huckabee is elected, he’ll bring all the troops home–he can handle this himself.
#12. Mike Huckabee would’ve stopped the attack of 9/11, but there was an asteroid hurtling toward Earth that day.
#11. Mike Huckabee doesn’t talk in sound bites; he speaks in decibel munches.
#10. Charles Darwin was actually born the same year as Mike Huckabee, but Huckabee punched him back to the 1800s.
#9. If Mike Huckabee had been President, the levees in New Orleans never would’ve broke, ’cause Katrina would’ve known better.
#8. Mike Huckabee’s philosophy on showing mercy is “abstinence-only.”
#7. Atheism can be cured by Mike Huckabee’s farts.
#6. Mike Huckabee is so powerful, even the ugly, unwanted, weight he discarded is running for president: Dennis Kucinich.
#5. The 1976 Tangshan earthquake killed over 250,000 people. Nine months later, the Huckabees welcomed their first son.
#4. Mike Huckabee spelled backwards is “Jesus Loves You.” It’s not? I dare you to tell that to Mike Huckabee.
#3. Mike Huckabee is only running for President because he’s reached his term limit as Grand Master of Space and Time
#2. Mike Huckabee opposes the right to die… painlessly.
#1. In Soviet Russia, President runs for Mike Huckabee!
Honorable Mention: If elected, Mike Huckabee will replace the Justice Department with his fists.
Borrowed Liberally from TheIndecider
Trackposted to Stop the ACLU, Outside the Beltway, Is It Just Me?, Perri Nelson’s Website, , Stix Blog, Right Truth, The Populist, Shadowscope, Stuck On Stupid, The Amboy Times, Leaning Straight Up, Adeline and Hazel, Stageleft, , third world county, Woman Honor Thyself, DragonLady’s World, Pirate’s Cove, The Pink Flamingo, Dumb Ox Daily News, Right Voices, Blog @ MoreWhat.com, A Blog For All, AZAMATTEROFACT, 123beta, Adam’s Blog, Inside the Northwest Territory, , Webloggin, The Bullwinkle Blog, Cao’s Blog, Big Dog’s Weblog, Conservative Cat, Conservative Thoughts, Allie Is Wired, Walls of the City, The World According to Carl, Blue Star Chronicles, Republican National Convention Blog, High Desert Wanderer, and Gone Hollywood, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.
Comment posted by Angel
at 10/22/2007 9:46:39 PM
Mike Huckabee lost 100 pounds of body fat by eating it…LOL
Comment posted by SwampWoman
at 10/23/2007 3:53:28 PM
Comment posted by Nuke
at 10/23/2007 3:16:07 PM
Heh. I like it.
Comment posted by Boilermaker
at 10/23/2007 3:04:54 PM
Mike Huckabee is currently engaged in a lawsuit with NBC because “Law” and “Order” are the trademarked names for his left and right fists.
Take that Fred Thompson!